Jasmine Hart

I always used to do novels on the computer, and I never finished them. I didn't even get a quarter of the way through them. For the novel which I ...

This was lovely. You channeled your emotion well, and the snippet of dialogue helped bring it to life. The rhythm is good and yoru enjambment is perfect.I really love; "The ...

Lovely, gummy. I'd put full stops at the ends of stanzas one and two. I love; "taste roses that Melt like sugar in my mouth And your kisses Were never ...

I agree with everything smorgish said in his second paragraph. This is very interesting, but I'd try making both the plot and the characters more subtle. Sunshine also makes a ...

I love it Matt, as usual. It's so powerful. In the second line, I might try saying; 'That I forget that I'm alive.' as I think it works better with ...

I liked the first one. 'Sixty percent of the time' may serve you better. I really enjoyed The lovely 'haiku de chip'. I would not change it. The next one ...

Via is wise, listen to her. I'd add that imagery will help. Maybe describe what Love looks like, and how it has become your worst enemy. I'd describe the guy, ...

Name: Diane Cotton Age:16 Gender: Female Eyes:grey-green Hair:long, light brown, in ringlets. Always leaves it down, but sometimes wears a long purple or blue hairscarf in it. Ability:telekinesis Pers

I'd love one on this, if it's not too much trouble, but don't worry if you don't have the time.

First I'd make your I's capital, and put a full stop after 'be.' I'd suggest reading poetry, and using imagery. Show, don't tell. I'm not sure your theme is great ...

I'd cut the repetition as it really doesn't add to this. I'd suggest using punctuation. And I'd kindly ask you not to use the word 'retarded' in your poetry. You ...

Aw, thanks Kit! :)

I just got my fifth yellow star :) Yay!

Ok...that's weird...I was just thinking about the original poem earlier,(can't quite remember why...) but I couldn't remember the name. I really like it Kit. The rhythm is perfect, and I ...

I really liked the first two stanzas.They flowed well and I liked how you expressed yourself. I think the last two stanzas are much weaker by comparison. I think that; ...